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I brought home a woman from the bar last night but ended up passing out on
the couch. Must've grabbed the wrong drink.
I went down to the sperm
bank hoping to make a donation but apparently it
needs to be in some special container.
I got an erection at a
nude beach once. How embarrassing! There wasn't a woman in sight.
I get annoyed when
houseguests take long hot showers -- fogs up my hidden camera lens.
I'll never forget my
first threesome. It happened by pure luck. We were playing spin the
bottle and I got the Siamese twins.
I have a wimpy little
friend who just got sent to prison. I'll bet he's taking it hard.
My girlfriend claims
that her last boyfriend was a better kisser than me and I have to
admit, he is pretty good.
My last girlfriend was
quite a catch. From her I got syphilis, gonorrhea and athlete's foot.
We were mean when
we were little. Like we used to tease this one kid because he wore braces. I
mean it was bad enough he could barely walk.
I was walking down the street when I heard from the alley "Help!
Rape!" So I ran back there as quick as I could and lucky I got there
when I did. She almost got away.
I was propositioned once by a prostitute in Las Vegas. She told me that
she'd blow me for a hundred bucks. I said "Lady, you can't be serious.
Back in my neighborhood, a blowjob is twenty bucks, free if I like the
guy."
I
hate a woman with a big mouth. Makes my dick look small.
Almost lost at strip poker the other night. How embarrassing! I was down to
my bra and panties.
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